Sort of the same, but different

What is "stability"?
There's some sort of stability in Liam's condition.  But what does stability really mean in this case?
Liam complains and moans.  Not as much as in the big, non-stop OOOOOOOWWWWWWWies days in the hospital, but she's not comfortable nonetheless.  As we mentioned earlier, the symptoms have the general name of Visceral Hyperanalgesia.  In English it means that abdominal pain can start at any time and could be triggered by really small things - things that you and I may not even feel.  One minute she's ok and the next she's in excruciating pain.  Even when she's "ok" is not really ok.  Smiles and just regular talk become rare nowadays.  When she's not in pain she lays down quietly or sleeps.  When she's awake, she mostly moans.  Some days are better than others, but altogether it looks like we're in a new phase these days.  We still don't sleep though the night.  And that's the sort of stability we're experiencing. Life through pain.  A terrible and cruel stability.  And who knows, maybe it's not stability at all.  Maybe we'll find ourselves back in the hospital soon?  You just never know.

Dr. Rachel
Rachel is keeping keeping in touch with the medical staff from the hospital, still trying to adjust Liam's pain medication.  One of the challenges is how all the chemicals that we pump into her work together.  When we were in the hospital, it's all their responsibility.  Now a lot of it is ours.  We have to watch that her breathing is not too shallow.

Vacation
Are you kidding me?  No chance.  We're in prison now.  To be honest, the last few years we went to the beach, it was never really a true vacation.  We had to constantly transfer her from her own wheelchair to the beach wheelchair; then from the beach wheelchair to the tent; and back to the wheelchair; give her a makeshift bath; and so on and so forth.  There was so much work to do with Liam that we always returned exhausted and with a broken back. Not to mention the fact that Liam had no patience to going out to a park or a restaurant etc.  In prior years it wasn't like that.  She was fun.  But in later years it became harder and harder to leave the house with her.

But now, we will take with two hands any kind of vacation - as challenging as it might be.  Just to get out.  Just to breathe some different air.  All we can do is just dream about it.  There's no chance for it to happen.