Walking the thin, tight rope

On Friday Liam had her second dialysis out of the house.  Rachel left her in the hospital with Savta (grandmama) and ran some errands.  As soon as I stepped into the house the phone rang:  "Liam doesn't feel good in dialysis....they're not sure what to do....maybe she needs her shunt to be x rayed.....etc."  So what do you do at a time like this:  Do you go to the ER, which means staying there for several hours until the scan/check/diagnose?  Or, do you go home, risking who-knows-what and a possible trip to the ER anyway at night?  It's a tight rope to walk on. 
After a few back-and-forth we decided that they return home.  Sure enough, the next two-three hours were hell.  She screamed out of pain.  We weren't sure what to do.  Then, suddenly and completely unexpectedly, she fell into a deep, deep sleep.  Go figure.  We didn't ask too many question, though.  Just fell asleep as soon as we could.

And this, in a nutshell, is our current life.  Swinging sharply between good periods and bad ones.


The Laundry Basket Guide to Feeling Stuffed
This week was the first time in many, many months that we lived at home like a "normal" family.  It's difficult to call it "normal" life with everything that goes on around, but occasionally the simplest things turns out to be life's greatest pleasures:  to eat a hot meal at home as a family (even though Liam doesn't eat yet), hearing the girls breathe at night as they sleep, coming home from work (instead of driving to the hospital). 
And everything feels full, stuffed, whole:  the house is full of hospital "stuff", that didn't make it yet to its designated destination;  it's full of family, of course; and visitors and friends; and my plate, which fills up (twice...) with home made food (home made food, hard to believe!!!), and following it the belly that fills up too much (but is so happy that everything else around is full that it fills just like that, without paying much attention); the dish washer, the trash and of course - I know, you couldn't wait - the laundry basket, which can't find a way to empty itself.  Ahhhh, home sweet home.