Pain journal

Saturday 1-2 pm:Liam is retching non-stop.  Medication helps for 1 hour; then  it's all back and she can't get the med until 5-6 hours later.

3-ish:  we take Liam downstairs in hope to distract her a bit, change atmosphere.  It's too windy outside and Liam asks to go back to her bed.  Rachel leaves. Of course, the minute I open a double-door with my back, pushing the medication tower in one hand and driving her wheelchair with the other - all while Liam is retching - exactly at that very moment, they called me from work (I'm on call this week).  Somehow with the help of the nurse I put Liam back in bed and somehow she allowed me to go on the computer for 10 minutes to take care of the incident at work (false alarm, BTW).

4-ish:  Liam finally fell asleep for about 2 hours.  Retching stopped.  Then nurses came in to do stuff and she woke up.  The retching resumed.

8-or-9-or-sometime-then:  They started blood transfusion (which was in the plans all day), since her red blood cells count is too low. 
Mysteriously, the retching stopped.....but instead, she now complains about pain.

10-ish and into the night:  more and more pain....no medication helps.

1-2-3 Sunday AM:  Liam screams out of pain.  We give her any and all medication available and permitted.  Nada.

NO, NO, NO.....
That's what she screams.
IT HURTS....MOMMY....NO, NO, NO

My eyelids are heavy, my nerves are recked, my heart is achen (for her), and I'm frustrated.  But what is my suffering compares to hers?  Got to move forward.  Easier said then done, but what other choice do we have?

3-which-is-now-4-somebody-moved-the-clock-forward:  They give her Morphine.  Still nada.
4:40 AM:  Liam finally relaxes - at least momentarily.  As if there's a devil sitting and watching us, at that very moment they called from work again.  Can you believe it?  Lucky for me by the time I got on the bridge call they got it resolved.

5 AM:  Liam is quite, but we decide to cath her now so that maybe she'd fall asleep and nobody would mess with her for several hours.  The gamble works.....for 20 minutes.  Then it all comes back.

5-6:  more screaming out of pain, more unhelpful meds.

6: A resident comes in to ask questions she already knows the answers to and give comments I already know.  But somehow, her touch calms Liam for just a few minutes.  A feminine touch, a Mommy touch - that's what she needs.  And horse-size medicine too, maybe.

Sometimes later they gave her Benadryl.  It calmed her down for an hour, that's all.

My initial purpose in this writing was to describe a routine night in the hospital.  Little did I know what a hellish night I was to face.  While this night was extreme (with the degree of how uncomfortable Liam was), Rachel spends many such nights - maybe just ab tad easier - in the hospital during the week.

To whoever is looking for a happy ending to this post - there's none.  Between 8-9:30 Sunday AM Liam was quite for a bit.  But now it's all back.  I'm intentionally posting now and not waiting for the conclusion (if there will be any) for the authenticity.

Our favorite Dr is on his way here for consultation on his day off.  The situation is not good.  A new strategy was discussed.  To be continued....maybe.